Xi Joke collection

I heard Xi Jingping is going to publish his own little red book of quotes like Mao....It's going to be called "That's what Xi Said".

Whats the name of Xi Jinpings successor? Xii Jinping

President Xi doesnt take a dump..He has a Pooh!

Xi Jinping walks into a bar and then[Censored]

Xi Jinping needs some laxatives...He just can't take a Pooh right now.

What does Xi Jinping and Winnie the Pooh have in common?They both will do anything for ~~m~~honey.

If it weren't for Arabs, we would never have 9/11 Instead it would be IX / XI

Whats the difference between a nuclear-ravaged wasteland and Hong Kong? The amount Xi has been drinking.

Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping? This joke has been flagged for violations of our *new* content policy, specifically our policy against inappropriate speech.

Constantine XI : Ships can't walk on lands Mehmed II the Conqueror: Hold my Kebab

There’s a lot of blaming and accusations going on concerning the Trump/China trade talks. Basically . . .It’s a lot of He said Xi said.

Kim Jung Un called Xi Jinping at 3:30 in the morning.

Xi: Why are you calling at *this* time?

Kim: I am going to test a nuke.

Xi: Okay, when are you going to do this?

Kim: 10.

Xi: 10 what? In 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days?

Kim: 9.

Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping and Jean-Claude Juncker all jump from a plane without a parachute, in what order do they hit the ground? Doesn't matter.

In China, you can criticise every Roman numeral from I to X. But you can't criticize Xi.

What is the celebrity couple name for Kim Jong Un and Xi Jinping? Kimchi

The trade war between the U.S. and China is really devolving Into a case of he said, Xi said.

What did Genghis Khan's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia? Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis should.

Xi went to Guangxi and spoke with the governor about the fine people of China

The governor: Fine people... I don't know...

Xi: I will show you. Hey, you! Come here! What do you do?

Farmer: I'm a farmer.

Xi: Let me ask you. If you had two houses, would you give one to the government?

Without any hesitation, the farmer says yes. Xi turns to the gover...

Did you hear about the new show about Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin? It's called [Removed]

How do know when your joke is mean? x̄ = ( Σ xi ) / n

The heads of state of the US and China sit down to a meeting.

Donald Trump says to Xi Jinping, "I'm gonna build a wall, it's going to be the best wall, Jinping, you've got a wall, I'm going to build it better than yours."

Xi replies, "It took thousands of Chinese workers a very long time to build the Great Wall. Are you sure your country is ready for th..

A competition was held to determine the country with the best police force in the world

The finalists were U.S., China and Russia, and each were represented by a five-man team.

On the day of the competition, the three teams gathered outside Tongass National Forest in Alaska, alongside a few thousand cheering fans. U.N. Secretary General António Guterres opened the envelope conta...

Why does everyone think China's first lady is so naughty? Because that's what Xi said.

What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting Kim-Xi

President Obama has a meeting with the President of China to discuss debt... President Obama has a meeting with Xi Jinping to discuss the debt the US owes to China. He arrives at the Chinese presidential mansion with Joe Biden, but they find there is work going on in the garden and lots of mud everywhere. So they have to roll up their trouser legs and step carefully to enter...

Funny: head of INTERPOL was one who is from CCP policing China, WHO head is from a country where health condition concerns people

What CCP thinks

1).    CCP held the "world internet conference", what a shame when CCP blocks 8000 more website including those here. How they think?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Websites_blocked_in_mainland_China

2).     Morey needs to be fired because he twittered "Fight for freedom, stand with Hong Kong".  really?  How do you know what Morey says since Twitter is illegal in China? Is Hong Kong part of China, then What Morey did wrong to be with China Hong Kong?

3).     Huawei has back up for everything including chip, software?

4).     GDP growth is 6% for Q3, I don't understand why tax revenue shrinks, consumption shrinks? is there any math relations among these?

5).     How you feel When you see this?

6).   Thirty nine people died in an freezing container, CCP asks UK to take responsibility and asks why it is UK. My question to you CCP is why Chinese people?
7).    Mike Pence's speech said everything and nothing.
8).    CCP furiously denies right away the nationalities of the 39 dead in UK. No matter what happened to lives, CCP doesn't care, it seems that the people care more about only if the 39 are traitors. WTF??
9).    Market economy's differences: Capitalism is planned by owners who is responsible for business failure, Socialism is planned by government who is not liable for business failure but takes credit in case something is successful. So how you expect those who plan your life but don't take responsibility. No, get rid of it.
10).   The 5th modernization: to control the people by using AI or other advanced technology. TikTok will send data back to China, will do censoring subtly and affect people over time. this is a process frog in the cold water waiting for boiling.
11).    This is not funny:

12).   Walls: there are great walls, or Trump walls that are used to block outsiders or invaders, also walls like Berlin walls and China firewalls that work to block their own people from watching outside world that are prison walls.
13).    CCP patriots definition: those who love CCP and love socialism. WTF??? My fellow american, if you want to be a patriot, you will have to love your parties.
14).     NCP funny

Nature of A Country: China vs USA

USA: run by wealthy people. We have FED that is an org of reps of super rich. No matter who is OB or BC, they are all backed by riches. The rule is simple, that is make 60% house owners and make the 60% feel like they made their American dreams. This is the secret of ruling.

China: run by dictators elected by a group of elite in their benefit. By nature CCP is only a name, is an org who believes in power only openly, meaning those who have guns rule the country.

China is different from CCP

1).    seven of 13 CCP chairs are defined as anti-CCP members
2).    CCP created, edited, changed history for whatever they need:
3).    dictators don't want public to see truth
4).    dictators block info spread freely, want you to see what they want you to see
5).    dictators are God who never make mistake
6).    CCP is a dictator
7).    dictators use power to scare people

If you stand with CCP, ask yourself the following questions

1).          Why china has no friends or allies but enemies all around? 

2).          All people in those  former socialist countries Russia, East European are stupid? crazy?                          Insane? What?

3).          You can see opinions from multiple sides, web sites are the same in most of the world but
               China,  Iran, north Korea.

4).          Who is right, people can see everything vs those who can only see one side propaganda?

5).          Yes universal value. Robbing bank is wrong no matter what excuse you have. Believing     
               You  rule when you have gun is rule of robbers.

6).          Why you are put in jail when you say something the rulers don’t like.        

7).           The foreign born Marxism mentioned freedom, but CCP only picked the part of violence.

8).          The ancient Chinese behaved: You have better decision when you listen to more opinions; 
                debating makes right conclusions; No matter how censorship is wrong.

9).          Only the nazi had department called propaganda.

10).        How many people want to become Chinese citizen, how many people to USA?

11).         One country two systems is offensive to 1.3 billion people who live in the mainland, it means all those people don't deserve freedom: Free of fear, right of free speech, free publishing, free assembly.
12).      This is not a joke: an american called hotel front desk at 7pm said his / her TV is broken because all channels has one same program.
13).      How people can have creativity when you are asked to have only one thought in mind? imagine What will happen when people can think freely. is it good for China?   
14).      An overseas Chinese told me that he fears so he won't say anything right openly on WeChat or China social media, because CCP can block your account or do something bad to your family or friends there. Also there is evidence of hidden hands on internet, meaning what you see on your cellphone screen is not the same as your China contacts see. Yes this is unbelievable but it is true. for example, WeChat did this.
15).      Orwells' "1984" is a great book that describes the reality in China, very accurate!!!  People there are in full control of the party in every way.
16).      The most scary part is that most Chinese people think and feel how happy they are in the rule of CCP, they are totally brain washed. This also reminds me and concerns me how the country behaves like the time of 1940 Germany.   

NBA, Chinese people think

how easy to shut you down american, CCP and his people not only silences their own but Americans. The whole country goes crazy, it concerns me how it becomes when they build up the so called "A world Community to share Future", CCp's future, forget it

Champagne Machine Gun

I called correctly on Clinton, G.Bush, Obama, this time, Rubio looks more like a president material but too young, eventually Sanders may become 45th president, we will see. 

Please watch the way how a candidate is talking to the crowd, Rubio and Sanders obviously stand out, they are people's people especially Rubio.

I don't do profiling, but Trump shows higher in every way than common American people, Hillary expresses no emotions, only Rubio or Sanders has the human connection with regular common american citizens. 

2016 election predict

http://www.predictwise.com/politics/2016president

H......ary or J.....b? I I am disgusted period. Are we in the country Saudi or China or Russia or Cuba

Winter comes

Americans will never have a clue how Chinese wisdom is.
Today is 12/22/2011,Chinese calendar "winter comes", a windy chilly day in America.

PPO 5000, 6000, How cheap american people are

You know how cheap American people are: You most don't deserve a medical check till you are hospitalized, PPO5000 or 6000 means you don't deserve any often regular prevention exam, everybody knows you are not saveable likely when you are moved to hospitals.
Sure I am talking about the 99%, those of 1% have no this worry

Chinese people

It is a good thing to Chinese people, Investors now have a better idea how Chinese people are after they experienced in Thailand, India, Pakistan and Viet Nam.
It is bad to Chinese government....

Rude to chanting some bad guys death

something is wrong, yes he is bad, he is dead

9 9 9 Herman plan, a bad one

It sounds fair, but it is a really bad idea, let us go to the math details:
I want to take 2 extreme examples to show you how bad it is
EXMPL 1): You make flat $100k, you get $91000 after income taxing
You will pay another 9% then you have $83k for your family 3
You have no savings, 0 savings
EXMPL 2): You make flat $1000k, you get $910k after income taxing
S1----You spend say $200k for your family 3, then you get $892k
S2----You spend say $100k for your family 3, then you get $909k
You have savings $892k or $909k
Now you got it?
Herman is for the rich, of the rich, by the rich 1%
Good news for NOBAMA!

Steve Jobs Dies

A sad day

Experiencing the recession till today

- Flyers of "Nurse", "Advanced Nurse" etc. disappeared or come thin
- Patient is less compared to 2008
- Junk mail of broken "Monster" stops coming
- Hunters are more than Hirers on "Career builder"
- Junk mails from builder are getting less even came as same way of telling story
- I don't save and compare the housing price changes from builder's ads
- New customers reply with harsh words and small customers have no or less orders
- Old customers don't send thanks after they receive holiday gift
- Customers send RFQ-s with cautiousness
-

Herman Cain vs Obama??

Yes, he may
No, ROP loser

No way no how nobama

No way no how nobama