Xi Joke collection

I heard Xi Jingping is going to publish his own little red book of quotes like Mao....It's going to be called "That's what Xi Said".

Whats the name of Xi Jinpings successor? Xii Jinping

President Xi doesnt take a dump..He has a Pooh!

Xi Jinping walks into a bar and then[Censored]

Xi Jinping needs some laxatives...He just can't take a Pooh right now.

What does Xi Jinping and Winnie the Pooh have in common?They both will do anything for ~~m~~honey.

If it weren't for Arabs, we would never have 9/11 Instead it would be IX / XI

Whats the difference between a nuclear-ravaged wasteland and Hong Kong? The amount Xi has been drinking.

Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping? This joke has been flagged for violations of our *new* content policy, specifically our policy against inappropriate speech.

Constantine XI : Ships can't walk on lands Mehmed II the Conqueror: Hold my Kebab

There’s a lot of blaming and accusations going on concerning the Trump/China trade talks. Basically . . .It’s a lot of He said Xi said.

Kim Jung Un called Xi Jinping at 3:30 in the morning.

Xi: Why are you calling at *this* time?

Kim: I am going to test a nuke.

Xi: Okay, when are you going to do this?

Kim: 10.

Xi: 10 what? In 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days?

Kim: 9.

Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping and Jean-Claude Juncker all jump from a plane without a parachute, in what order do they hit the ground? Doesn't matter.

In China, you can criticise every Roman numeral from I to X. But you can't criticize Xi.

What is the celebrity couple name for Kim Jong Un and Xi Jinping? Kimchi

The trade war between the U.S. and China is really devolving Into a case of he said, Xi said.

What did Genghis Khan's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia? Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis should.

Xi went to Guangxi and spoke with the governor about the fine people of China

The governor: Fine people... I don't know...

Xi: I will show you. Hey, you! Come here! What do you do?

Farmer: I'm a farmer.

Xi: Let me ask you. If you had two houses, would you give one to the government?

Without any hesitation, the farmer says yes. Xi turns to the gover...

Did you hear about the new show about Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin? It's called [Removed]

How do know when your joke is mean? x̄ = ( Σ xi ) / n

The heads of state of the US and China sit down to a meeting.

Donald Trump says to Xi Jinping, "I'm gonna build a wall, it's going to be the best wall, Jinping, you've got a wall, I'm going to build it better than yours."

Xi replies, "It took thousands of Chinese workers a very long time to build the Great Wall. Are you sure your country is ready for th..

A competition was held to determine the country with the best police force in the world

The finalists were U.S., China and Russia, and each were represented by a five-man team.

On the day of the competition, the three teams gathered outside Tongass National Forest in Alaska, alongside a few thousand cheering fans. U.N. Secretary General António Guterres opened the envelope conta...

Why does everyone think China's first lady is so naughty? Because that's what Xi said.

What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting Kim-Xi

President Obama has a meeting with the President of China to discuss debt... President Obama has a meeting with Xi Jinping to discuss the debt the US owes to China. He arrives at the Chinese presidential mansion with Joe Biden, but they find there is work going on in the garden and lots of mud everywhere. So they have to roll up their trouser legs and step carefully to enter...

Funny: head of INTERPOL was one who is from CCP policing China, WHO head is from a country where health condition concerns people